If I Wasn’t a Teacher…

I’d be a detective.*

Or one of those people who record audiobooks.**

If I wasn’t a teacher,

I’d be an explorer***

or a gourmet chef.****

If I wasn’t a teacher,

I might find myself rescuing lost pups*****

or working with the homeless.******

I might find myself on an army base*******

or attempting to heal a broken bone********

or maybe broken hearts.*********

If I wasn’t a teacher,

I might be a party planner**********

or a party clown.***********

I might even join the circus.************

If I wasn’t a teacher,

I might be an ethnographer*************

or a cartographer,**************

a typographer,***************


If I wasn’t a teacher,

I might be a talk show host*****************

or a singing sensation. ******************

But because I’m a teacher,

I get to be all of these things.

*heh heh heh any student who thinks they can fool me should think again!
**seriously, though, how do I get this job?  I’ve had plenty of practice, hello read-alouds!
***oh man, the discoveries I’ve made as a teacher!  Call me Magellan!
****bottom drawer on the left…my students never go hungry!  Gourmet Ritz crackers, gourmet rice cakes, gourmet granola bars, gourmet fruit snacks…
*****on the first day of school, I helped a tiny tiny 7th grade boy standing awkwardly amidst the chaos who asked, “Are they going to tell us what to do?” as the bell rang.
******it is likely, if you are a teacher, that you in fact have students who do not have a permanent home.
*******some days it feels like this.  Also, students who come from military families are often not identified as such in public schools, despite their unique strengths, challenges, and culture.
********masking tape works fine in a pinch for a suspected broken finger or toe.
*********middle school love is real, this I believe.
**********I’ve been known to throw a nice end-of-quarter celebration but heck, every day is a party in my classroom!
***********I get things done.
************done and done.
*************every day is a new lesson in the culture and customs of middle school students.
**************a life map is what I make.
***************thank you Microsoft Word.
****************I probably learn a new slang word every day to be added to the official Burton Middle School Dictionary (wait, hold on, let me trademark that…).
*****************so I came up with this game that I’m thinking about pitching to Jimmy Fallon, inspired by a student who loves “deathcore” music:  listen to a deathcore song and try to interpret what the “singers” are saying.  I’ve tried this with my class.  Hilarious results.
******************Um so yeah, I’ve belted some Adele in my classroom.  It’s also hilarious to me when my students proclaim, “I can’t believe my teacher knows who Wiz Khalifa is!”

One thought on “If I Wasn’t a Teacher…

  1. Linda C. February 7, 2016 / 8:23 pm

    Love it! I’m glad you’re a teacher!


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